knittingknots (knittingknots) wrote,

Crackfic: Of Pink and Black

Something silly I cooked up last night for the At First Tweak LJ community.  Definitely crackfic.  My muses run mayhem.

Of Pink and Black

“Alright,” said the pink plot bunny, taking a swig from her sake jug. “Let's get this story on the road.”

“You're gonna need more than the sake of illumination,” whispered Fabio, the golden haired, shirtless, tight pantsed romance writing muse from where he leaned against a tree. “I mean, how many ways can you do a hot springs scenario? Is there anything someone hasn't done before?”

Pink wiggled her nose. Suddenly the sky turned to midnight. A full moon shone overhead. Soft swirls of steam lifted from the spring. There was the sound of crickets in the air. Coming down the path to the spring, Kagome stopped by the waters, turned on her flashlight, and laid down her bow and arrows. Not paying any attention to the two muses, she carefully removed her school uniform and underthings and slid into the spring, sighing with relief as she relaxed in the warm waters.

“Cue InuYasha,” said Pink, munching on some popcorn.

Stealthily moving through the treetops, InuYasha settled into a tree that provided an excellent view of the young woman in the waters below. He caught his breath as the girl he's been following stood up in the water, walking over to the bank to get her soap The moonlight caught on the rivulets of water cascading down her body and he......

“Get a life, Pink,” said a soft, sultry voice. “You did almost this same scenario in your poem 'Her Protector.' Don't you have anything else rattling in your brain, or have you been hitting the sake too much lately?”

InuYasha, concentrating too much on Kagome, fell out of the tree face down. “Damn, that hurt,” he muttered..

“InuYasha!” yelled Kagome, shocked at the sight of the hanyou, who had obviously been spying.. “Osuwari!”

“Damn, that hurts,” he said after he crashed once again into the ground. “I hate when they get me all excited and then sit me.”

The muses turned around and looked at the newcomer. Tall, dark and looking surprisingly like Tinkerbell in goth, she had, in beautiful flowing cursive calligraphy, the words Plot Fairy tatooed in red ink along the right side of her forehead.. She smirked at them all. “Well? Any new ideas in that head of yours, Pink?”

Fabio gave her a slow, careful once over. “And who, might I ask, are you? And do you have any ideas for this little oneshot Pink has run out of ideas for?”

“I am Black,” she said,, walking sway-hipped right up to Fabio, her fairy wings keeping time with each step. When she stood there, close enough that Fabio could feel her breath, she ran her finger under his chin, catching it. “You might say I am Pink's evil sister. You muse enough to deal with that?”

Fabio's eyes flashed. “You plot fairy enough to deal with me?

InuYasha finally managed to sit up, drawing his legs up protectively in front of his midsection, looking rather forlorn. Kagome, in the meanwhile, managed to wrap herself up in a towel, and came and sat next to the hanyou, and rested her head against his shoulder. He flinched at the touch.

“I'm sorry, InuYasha. I didn't mean to hurt little Tessaiga. Blame Pink.”

He looked at the bewildered and potzed plot bunny, once again taking a swig of sake, and let out a low growl.

“Black!” yelled Pink. “What's with the Kanji, Black? Going for the Gaara look?” sniped Pink.

“Scoff all you want, hack plotter. At least I have better sense than trying to recycle my own old plots,” said the plot fairy.

“How'd you get out anyway. Our Author had you locked away pretty good.”

“O, I had some help,” she said, tugging on the rope she had been dragging behind her. A contrite looking Kitsune with wild red hair and lowered ears came to her, his arms bound at his sides.

“Snark!” said Pink. “Is this some kind of joke?”

“I...I'm sorry, Pink. But we worked together so well on 'Shiver, Woman, Shiver.' I didn't know she'd try to get away.” whined the comic Kitsune, for once without a snarky remark

Fabio, still leaning against the tree, rolled his eyes. “Well, will one of you please come up with a plot? At the rate we're going, I'm going to miss “The Young and the Restless.” And Pink, you know what that does to my musing.”

“Ok, Miss Writing on the Face, how would you plot this one shot?” said Pink.

The plot fairy waved her hand. Instead of being somewhere in 16th century Japan, suddenly, they were on a dance floor in 21st Century Tokyo. Kagome was dressed in a hot leather mini-skirt and InuYasha was wearing a red silk shirt and very tight black pants. The two found themselves gyrating against each other.

“Hmm. Looks like a page out of one of Inugrrrl's fics,” said Fabio. “The Author won't want to do that.”

“So much for Miss Originality,” muttered Pink.

“I thought this fic had to be in a canon setting,” said Snark.

Pink waved her hand. Suddenly, they were standing in Kagome's bedroom. The light was on at her desk, and her math book was open. InuYasha, suddenly back in his fire rat clothes, still hand his hands on Kagome's body as she continued to rub her backside against InuYasha, her eyes closed as if listening to the non-existent music, but instead of tight black leather, she was now dressed once again in her school uniform.

“Ahem,” said Fabio.

Kagome opened her eyes, saw where she was, and where InuYasha had his hands. “Damn,” she muttered, as she went down to sit at her desk. “I hate math homework. Is this fair?”

InuYasha plopped down on the pink bed, shoving his hands into the sleeves of his suikan. “Can we go on strike?” he asked Fabio.

Fabio shook his head no. InuYasha pouted.

“Hmmm, how about we let them get married, have a hot wedding night, and then have bad guys do nasty things to them afterwards to get revenge on Sesshoumaru?” asked Black.

“I'm doing that already in After the End,” said Pink. “How about we make Inu go youkai and run off with Kagome and .....”

“No!” shouted everybody. “No more caveman Youkai InuYasha!”

Black waved her hand, and suddenly Kagome was at her school after classes had let out, surrounded by a group of young men. Two of them had grabbed her and another had a knife.

“No way, Black! That's Doggieearlover's story. We will NOT steal it from her,” said Pink.

InuYasha barged into the room. “Damn it! You guys come up with a story, or we're going to go see Roxotaku. We know we'll get treated right over there.”

Pink and Black looked angrily at each other. “It's your fault!” they both screamed.

“Ladies,” said Snark. “You want to write this story? Why don't you ask them what they want to do?”

“We can do that?” said Black.

“It might be worth a shot,” said Pink.

“So,” said Fabio, “Tell me, InuYasha and Kagome, what do YOU want to do in this story?”


The waters from the hot spring steamed invitingly in the early morning light. The silver haired hanyou slowly woke up, snuggling closer to the woman in his arms, who had made his dreams come true the night before.

She rolled over, facing him. “Good morning,” she said.

“Good morning to you,” he said. He placed his hand over her heart. “Guess which word I'm writing,” he said, drawing the strokes of a kanji across her skin, just light enough to feel with a skill most people didn't think he had.

“Love,” said Kagome.

“Because you are mine,” said InuYasha.

“Aw,” said Fabio from where he stood, leaning against a tree..

“How kawaii,” said Pink. Her bowl of popcorn was nearly empty.

“Gag me with a spoon,” said Black, sitting next to her, her black lacy fairy wings beating an agitated rhythm. “I need a drink.”

Pink lifted up her bottle. “Want some sake?”

Tags: cracfic
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