Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Shakes fist at brain chemistry.....

So yesterday was a good day...level mood all day, no weird crampy stuff that made me take a pill, and I was productive...wrote a poem,  Thinking of Athena, a short fic based on the King Arthur legend called Victory Party, about the night Arthur's sister seduced him and conceived Mordred for the hentai_contest  comm, and started an Inu fic called Intended Attentions, which I finished off this morning.

Then, for almost no reason, I get the weepies.  Someone said something which unintentionally got my mind thinking about the big red zone in my head I've marked "do not go there," mostly related to doing research on my particular cancer (at this stage, it'll get me more emotional, and I'll just scare myself silly - I know general stuff about what's going down, and I refuse to ramp up with what if's -- and this morning's reaction was proof positive that that is correct.) 

Someone else suggested that beyond the big headtrip of knowing I have a tumour, that I may be getting hormonal issues, considering it's dealing with the uterus, and I suspect it's right.  I described it to someone as being in PMS most of the time right now...but I never had outrageous PMS, and this isn't really deep and dark, just moodswingy.  I'll cope.

Beyond that, I've gotten set up to do some simple embroidery.  I pulled down my embroidery stand which I haven't used in a long time, and once I dust it off, I'll start working on this project...just some southern belle style sunbonnet girl pillow cases.  If my hands are up to it, after that, I may try some needlepoint.  I love doing (or used to, anyway) fancy needlepoint that takes more than just basket stitch...

And I will say now, once more for the record, I adore my husband.  He's been my tower of strength and so supportive.  And he's a good cook and makes me laugh.  It's no wonder I'm given to writing happy married couple waff....Definitely my tribute to him.



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 18th, 2010 06:11 pm (UTC)
I'm glad to hear your husband is cheering you up. <3
Aug. 18th, 2010 06:14 pm (UTC)
Hugs are definitely appreciated!

Cheering me up, indulging me, cooking for me, putting up with my mood swings. I was so lucky finding him...worth waiting all those years of being single!

Aug. 18th, 2010 06:24 pm (UTC)

I used to petite point when I was younger and needlepoint too. I should pick it up again. ;p
Aug. 18th, 2010 06:31 pm (UTC)
Then, for almost no reason, I get the weepies.

*nods* Sometimes people have delayed emotional reactions to things. Its good that you've explored a bit more about your condition, and realize your limits. What's important right now is keeping yourself in a good, strong mindframe, so no need to get into a mode of catastrophic thinking if you can at all avoid it.

You're a very self-aware person, so no doubt you're also tuned in to the changes in your mood and how it relates to how stressed you feel, and what mechanisms you're choosing to cope with all this. It makes me doubly glad to know your husband is being the most awesome person on the planet, because the more support you have, the better. You know we're supporting you here, too, but that's nothing like having someone right there who can hold you and cook for you and make you laugh :)

But if you ever need someone to vent at, I'm here :) You've been there for me plenty of times, and I'd be honored to return the favor if necessary :)

It's no wonder I'm given to writing happy married couple waff....Definitely my tribute to him.

Aug. 18th, 2010 11:58 pm (UTC)
Mostly good things, so that is a relief to hear.

My Mom had a hysterectomy due to cancer some years ago - just extra body parts she wasn't using anymore she says - and takes vitamins and other homeopathic remedies to help her hormonal imbalance instead of synthetic hormones. It works for her. Maybe it's something that will help you along as well.
Aug. 19th, 2010 09:30 am (UTC)
I still think you should have knitted my kid her fingerless gloves when I wanted you to. Weakness comes from not doing things...until you can't. I know that's a terrible thing to say, but that is the way it is.

Near as I can tell off of many years in the business is live your life well. Try not to be a selfish pig even mentally. Put yourself out a bit for people. Read and die if that is all your head can get to. Death is bad enough to kill you and yet not so bad under good care.
Aug. 19th, 2010 02:08 pm (UTC)
Glad you have some ways of dealing with your feelings. My mother and wife both did needlepoint.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )