knittingknots (knittingknots) wrote,
knittingknots
knittingknots

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Ruminations...

Anxiety, KK's old friend...

Thursday, two days from now I get to go back to the gyno's office and find out the results of my biopsy.

I'm trying to deal with the anxiety - meditation, escaping into history and crafts project planning; I even pulled out my drop spindle and began spinning because that's a way I relax, with vague notions of setting up a loom in the ancient greek way to try out some weaving techniques I read about in Prehistoric Textiles.

It's not enough.  I don't feel well.  Much of it, I know from old experience, is anxiety. My body is very very good at internalizing stress and popping up with weird symptoms to deal with it.

Not knowing is a bitch.  And the histories are beginning to not be distractive enough.  And I'm trying so hard not to wind up tight.  It's not just me I affect.  My hubby's coping too and I don't wanna get histronic and wind him up.  He's not like me, wind up fast, explode, and get it out of the system and get down to work....He's a slow burner.  And I see it sometimes, the anxiety.  I'm so glad we only have a week of this.
Tags: rl
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