Thursday, two days from now I get to go back to the gyno's office and find out the results of my biopsy.
I'm trying to deal with the anxiety - meditation, escaping into history and crafts project planning; I even pulled out my drop spindle and began spinning because that's a way I relax, with vague notions of setting up a loom in the ancient greek way to try out some weaving techniques I read about in Prehistoric Textiles.
It's not enough. I don't feel well. Much of it, I know from old experience, is anxiety. My body is very very good at internalizing stress and popping up with weird symptoms to deal with it.
Not knowing is a bitch. And the histories are beginning to not be distractive enough. And I'm trying so hard not to wind up tight. It's not just me I affect. My hubby's coping too and I don't wanna get histronic and wind him up. He's not like me, wind up fast, explode, and get it out of the system and get down to work....He's a slow burner. And I see it sometimes, the anxiety. I'm so glad we only have a week of this.