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Ruminations...

Anxiety, KK's old friend...

Thursday, two days from now I get to go back to the gyno's office and find out the results of my biopsy.

I'm trying to deal with the anxiety - meditation, escaping into history and crafts project planning; I even pulled out my drop spindle and began spinning because that's a way I relax, with vague notions of setting up a loom in the ancient greek way to try out some weaving techniques I read about in Prehistoric Textiles.

It's not enough.  I don't feel well.  Much of it, I know from old experience, is anxiety. My body is very very good at internalizing stress and popping up with weird symptoms to deal with it.

Not knowing is a bitch.  And the histories are beginning to not be distractive enough.  And I'm trying so hard not to wind up tight.  It's not just me I affect.  My hubby's coping too and I don't wanna get histronic and wind him up.  He's not like me, wind up fast, explode, and get it out of the system and get down to work....He's a slow burner.  And I see it sometimes, the anxiety.  I'm so glad we only have a week of this.

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Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
luxken27
Aug. 10th, 2010 06:20 pm (UTC)
*hug* Its impossible not to stress out a little about these things...and impossible to tell yourself to relax, too.

You'll make it through, even if you have to go through hell first.
knittingknots
Aug. 10th, 2010 06:23 pm (UTC)
Yep....just bleeding off a little tension right now. My favorite way is to blow up in a big, dramatic outburst and get it all out, but I've been trying not to do that...hanging in there...even wrote a funny story last night.

One step at a time. One vent at a time...LOL.
luxken27
Aug. 10th, 2010 09:16 pm (UTC)
Well, that's what we're here for! =)
psyco_chick32
Aug. 10th, 2010 06:36 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Well, we're here for you if you need to vent without worrying your hubby extra. <3 You're in our thoughts and prayers.
knittingknots
Aug. 10th, 2010 06:42 pm (UTC)
Hugs back tightly!
kiramaru7
Aug. 10th, 2010 07:55 pm (UTC)
*Huggles KK*
landofthekwt
Aug. 10th, 2010 09:10 pm (UTC)
Sometimes it helps to scream a little. Crossing my fingers and wishing you well.
sakuraryuu
Aug. 10th, 2010 09:55 pm (UTC)
I hope it goes by quickly for you and you're able to find a way to ease the tension. Good luck. *hug*
rya_kelley
Aug. 10th, 2010 11:41 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
kokoronagomu
Aug. 11th, 2010 05:20 am (UTC)
i hope you get good news. my husband is like you and gets really anxious to the point of having his blood pressure hit the roof. i'll tell you what i told him-- it's like your driving on a road and you see kids playing in the yards, you are cautious and looking out in case a kid runs out so your ready for it but you can't be sure it's going to happen until it does. --so whatever news you get you will deal with it appropriately when it happens. if it's good news you've worried yourself and produced a lot of unhealthy stress chemicals for nothing. i know you'll probably stress just as much but i believe in being positive until i have a concrete reason not to be (even though i'll still try to think positively). *hugs you sue*
madmiko
Aug. 11th, 2010 07:35 am (UTC)
Stress and anxiety can really eat away at some of us. I'm like that, too. So, I don't have any good advice on coping with it/minimalizing it. I'll just keep hoping for the best and that these two days pass quickly for you!
banana_cave
Aug. 11th, 2010 02:32 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I hear ya on it affecting the hubby, too.

Hang in there. It sounds like you are doing everything right.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )