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ACK! Angst!

Read one ansty piece of fanfic too much. I'm beginning to develop a paranoia by proxy syndrome...Why are all these people out to make the characters I like have miserable lives.

Sauron must be playing games with Naraku and Dr. Moriarity....LOL. Maybe I just need to stay away from media miner for awhile...

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( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
alterfano
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:54 am (UTC)
hm. time for some waff then....
knittingknots
Jul. 9th, 2007 03:17 am (UTC)
I've been even more perverse to myself...I've been rereading manga scans for volume 40 and 41....my brain becoming canon fodder (although I did sneak a little WAFF in on the side) chasing the chimera of character development.

My poetry muse is a slave driver sometimes.
alterfano
Jul. 9th, 2007 03:29 am (UTC)
heh. i understand that... although i don't take the time to go back and read it much any more. i kinda have "them" in my head the way i see them these days. getting farther and farther from canon in some ways.
knittingknots
Jul. 9th, 2007 04:33 am (UTC)
(LJ crashed for a bit...I also sent this email)

I think I'm searching for authentic voices...Your vision of them is beautiful...I have glimpses, but I'm not there yet...

And I need to stop reading dark things that are too far ooc anyway. I find myself saying, "Why are you doing that to InuYasha?" as I get out of the story. And poor Kagome...Old enough to know that angst sucks, pain hurts, and life lived well is a joy -- there's enough dark in real life not to pile it up higher and higher to make an artistic point -- although that may just be how my aesthetic sense runs.


And to keep writing, to keep playing, I have to be able to answer: "Who are these people? Why do I find their story so compelling?" It's not adolescent wish fulfillment. I don't want to pop into the InuYasha universe. I'm not the 14 year old who used to write bad fan fics of Dark Shadows back in the day. There is something there that warms me and I want to communicate it. And my heart wants to do it right, see it done right, and enjoy it.

Ah, I love being obsessive.
alterfano
Jul. 9th, 2007 11:30 am (UTC)
Why do I find their story so compelling?" .. There is something there that warms me and I want to communicate it. And my heart wants to do it right, see it done right, and enjoy it.

Ah, I love being obsessive.


totally understand and agree. i've spent a year 'warming up' to the story i want to tell with them. if only it wasn't so hard to tell it! it's like real writing and it sucks me dry. hopefully someday i'll get a chance to share it with everyone.....
knittingknots
Jul. 9th, 2007 02:37 pm (UTC)
Real writing indeed....

You know it's real by the cost and compulsion.

Now as for why we have this compulsion, all I can say is: Youkai magic.
alterfano
Jul. 9th, 2007 03:40 pm (UTC)
um. i think it started before that..... it's in the genes.
knittingknots
Jul. 9th, 2007 04:20 pm (UTC)
Writing compulsion: genetic

Focus for writing compulsion: well, that might vary. Youkai magic for me is my current focus.

I've been writing haiku since I was about 8. By the time I was 13, I was writing more and different types of poetry in buckets and lots of bad horror stories. When I was 15, I discovered heroic quest stories. Wrote two very bad novellas that taught me a lot about writing, and later, about 30, wrote about half of an interesting cyberpunk novel.

But I realized although I had skill and ability, I didn't have enough to say, nothing burning in my heart to want to stay more than a short piece.

Magic is in the focus.

Touch of burning coal
ignites the tinder and a flame
blooms into bright words.
alterfano
Jul. 9th, 2007 04:43 pm (UTC)
But I realized although I had skill and ability, I didn't have enough to say, nothing burning in my heart to want to stay more than a short piece.


for me it's always been a matter of time/focus. my ability is "ok" and in need of much work. my "stuff to say" is always there, but not always very 'together'... I've found that when i can give myself enough time to empty my brain of shit there's a ton to say and the ideas to organize it.... it's getting rid of the shit that's the problem..... and that's a function of having free time when my brain isn't busy with organizing a billion pieces of shit... kinda circular actually..... >.
knittingknots
Jul. 9th, 2007 05:10 pm (UTC)
That I can understand.

I think in part that the reason I can do the poetry and flash fiction is because I don't need sustained time for them.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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Comments

  • 8 Sep 2015, 13:40
    Does the story still lives? It's been a while since your last chap :/
  • 1 Sep 2015, 17:29
    Hi knittingknots,
    I hope all is well with you. I see you are not continuing with your story... a wonderful story, and I'll surely miss your updates, they are always a shining spot in my day.…
  • 5 Dec 2014, 02:33
    Wow, congrats!! It's been about that long since I've updated some of my fics, LOL.
  • 22 Nov 2014, 07:37
    You might try Nobunaga Concerto where a modern time traveler exchanges places with Nobunaga. Follows Nobuanaga historically
  • 24 Jul 2014, 02:30
    thi was posted on Dokuga 4 days ago
    Hey guys! Just a little info I gathered. I have a friend who knows the mod of MM.org and apprently in Aug payment is due once again, unfortunatley they haven't…
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