October 7th, 2007

KK with Kanji


Well, I did it.  I stayed up around the clock to get some sleep.  Day before yesterday, I didn't get up until 11. That evening, about 9, I started reading The Phoenix Blade:Time Lapse, and until 7 pm last night, I mostly sat at the computer, writing a little, doing email, reading some chapters of things that go update, but mostly read The Phoenix Blade.  Didn't finish it, but did manage to get to chapter 55, and didn't even skip any chapters.

Thanks, Feni, for giving me a good way to reset my sleep cycle...some time about 7 pm last night I fell asleep at the computer and husband shepherded me to bed.  Slept until 3 am...and I would much rather be up at 3 am with a quiet house to write in, fresh and alert, than have waited all evening for hubby to got to bed to have a quiet house...  I know I can easily have a good 5 hours of quiet this way.  Maybe I'll actually finish my chapter and catch up the rest of the Phoenix Blade chapters this morning.
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KK with Kanji

Insecurities, Writing and the like....

Today, as I've been doing some escapism with a reading pigout ( I read all 75 chapters of The Phoenix Blade: Time Lapse in less than a 48 hour period) I wish the rest of my body was in as good an athletic shape as the parts of my eyes that control my reading. I'd be one of those people who could do 100 mile runs), and feeling once again insecure about my ability to tell stories, clnv in an author's note to her Walking A Mile in Each Other's Shoes which is looking to be a very fun and thoughtful Kagome and InuYasha switch bodies story, called me an accomplished writer.

Dang. Just when I'm on the edge of feeling like my writing's just hack stuff (well, not the poetry. I exempt some of that), and I am a hanger on on my lj friends circle, warming myself at the fire of their real abilities, someone has to say something that disconnects my view of me with how someone else sees me. Could be the insecurity I'm feeling right now is lack of sleep or my subconscious saying forget EIMH, reinforcing my self-image as someone who can't sustain a long piece of work, or perhaps the fact fall's coming in and I need to buy a SAD light. Who knows?

Interesting, the disconnect between who we see ourselves as, and how others perceive us.

I also think I must be haunted by some 19th century writer, or perhaps even William Faulkner, who has given me the gift of writing sentences that seem to go on forever and ever.

hmmmmm......attack of the plot bunny......hmmmm....

(most of my plotbunnies die of starvation.  But they keep reproducing anyway....)